2011 was a year of growth. A year of skill building and hard work. A year of travel. This was the year I set out with no clear goals but was simply mired in the learning and shooting and surviving. If someone asked a favor, I said yes. It’s possible I overcommitted. Okay, I definitely overcommitted. And, as a result I often felt bereft of creativity and energy. It was like I was standing at the shore and got knocked over by a wave, but before I could get up another wave swept in and kept me from ever regaining my footing. Until Sedona.
Let me start by saying I’m a low maintenance family gal and we often focus on our kids rather than ourselves. My husband and I rarely take time for dates or weekends away because we prefer to be together as a family. But in June, my adorable husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary with a trip to see one of the seven wonders – the Grand Canyon – just the two of us. First, we rested. Then, we hiked all over that gorgeous countryside, ate in biker bars, explored ghost towns, and were simply amazed at the beauty this world holds. I took my Contax 645 camera and nothing else. I shot with no pressure, no expectations. I shot from my heart. I played around. And, I found something I can’t put into words.
A few weeks after that trip I found myself in Paris with a friend – the first of two trips there this year – and explored the city in both summer and fall. And, then in New York City in December. Not one of these trips was planned with more than 8 weeks notice. They were all unexpected gems. But with each one I discovered a new part of myself that I didn’t know existed. I was free to shoot what I experienced and I became enamored with my own images – something I’ve never felt. I shot when it wasn’t for a client or for money. I brought my camera on family days. I hung images on my walls. And, I was so inspired that I even started drawing in oil pastels and pottery again. It may sound strange, but when you do something creative for a job it can often become just that and you start to feel like you are working any time you pick up your camera, your paintbrush, or your pen. You can also become overly critical of your own work. For me, film changed everything.
Despite starting last year with no clear goals, life still took me where I needed to go. I am right where I am supposed to be at this moment in time. And even though it is an unexpected place, I am taking the time to appreciate that. In 2012, I plan to explore this craft in search of my own clear voice. I plan to spread my wings and follow my heart. I hope you will come on this journey with me…wherever it leads.
